When anxiety gets the best of you, get the best of your anxiety.

Irrational worries, accompanied by rational worries, are not supposed to de-stress your mind or your day. I'm sick of letting this madness get the best of me and turn into panic attacks, which if you've had... you know what I mean. Lame. Terrifying. So today I started something.

Word of the day:

B E A U T I F U L .

Any persistent worry or anxious thought that came to mind, I replaced with a sentence involving "beautiful." It snowed today, I wasn't annoyed. Looked at the gorgeous tree in front of me and thought about it positively. Every worry was replaced with positive enforcement, focused on sources aside from myself. The tactic? Not too shabby.


Example:

Anxious thought: I don't feel so good, (feeling of suffocation), I feel like I'm swerving, (heart beats a little faster), What if I pass out while driving? I feel like I can't breathe. What if I did pass out and suddenly die? (huge anxiety about unknown and death), breathe in.. 1..2..3..4..5.. breathe out.. 1..2..3..4..5.. [each fearful thought leads to another fearful thought.]

Thoughts to kill that anxious bastard!: I don't feel so good, (feeling of suffocation.) breathe in.. 1..2..3..4..5, breathe out..1..2..3..4..5.. repeat. This snow is so beautiful (focus attention on one specific thing)--> That tree is so beautiful with the snow on it like that. Tim Berton goes Christmas style! (continue to breathe.) That building looks so beautiful, the sky looks so beautiful, life is beautiful, etc. etc. etc.... And the key is? You can't feel dorky!! You must be sincere! It's changing your brain and will make you want to think more positive thoughts about everything.


I'm even an optimist. Hardcore. And my anxiety turns me into this hypochondriac, "I'm gonna die", super worried person, convinced of the worst. Not me at all. Kickin' anxiety's ass!!!!


Now this is just brain stuff. Mind stuff. Also a big nutrition nut and have gone partially raw, gradually going fully raw. Nutrition: SO IMPORTANT.

Anyway, end of post. Life is beautiful.

Indiana has Rockin Storms

I've been in Indiana since April 26th, and will be very sad to leave. I'm staying with my sister and her family. I love and admire them all so much, I can't believe I only have two weeks remaining. We have had SO much fun, though. Girls night, Columbus Idol, movie nights, frequent runs on a beautiful trail, taste of Cincinnati, jungle jims, camping, boat ride, hippie fair, wallpaper stripping, music videos, art projects, phenomenal storms, weekly trips to Bloomington, and more.

Rain is currently falling, while lightning flashes every few minutes. You wouldn't believe the lightning here-- it lights up the whole city. I'll have to come back every summer just for the storms.. and I guess because I love my family. Yeah. It's decided yet again. I really do love my sister and her family so much.

Now just waiting for a tornado before I head to the other side of the world . . .

Superbowl Sunday!

I celebrate everything. And I love making festive meals and treats to suit the fun occassions. For this year's superbowl, I collected a few recipes from http://www.allrecipes.com/ and have already finished one-- "Gridiron Brownies" which are supposed to represent a football field w/ endzones. The slivered almonds are football players. I thought it was cute.. definitely not an advanced piece of work, but for a 21 year old, I'd give it a decent grade. Before the big game tomorrow, I'll be making stuffed tomatoes (favorite), crab dip (never made before), and football-shaped rice krispy treats (also never attempted.) Oh, how festively domestic. Happy superbowl, everyone!!

Christmas

We've had a great Christmas, sort of weird how many friends of mine have a husband/wife & kids & are starting to do their own Christmas. Not me. (Yet.) The Lifferth's have been in Utah and we've had a GREAT time, I had missed them so much, and never want them to go back to Indiana! We've done several things so far, including jump-on-it, seeing "The Frog and the Princess" (I think that's what it's called), playing basketball, going to Chuck E. Cheese, and just hanging out. We'll be doing much more before they leave. Christmas eve and Christmas day have been pretty traditional, though we've added a couple things.. unfortunately, I can't remember what we've added. The following photos are the family (not including me, I took the pic), what we eat for breakfast on Christmas, my beautiful niece Gabby, handsome nephew Alex, and super cute nephew Oliver- "Ollie." I'll be putting more photos up on facebook, so look there for additional Christmas moments.

Movies Galore

I've realized that I've been watching movies like mad, mostly thanks to redbox, which is saving me lots of money. I looked at my rental history online & thought I should put the titles here along with a simple "yes" I liked it or "no" I didn't like it. People always blog about movies, so why not..

Curious Case of Benjamin Button: No. Didn't finish this, got bored..
Management: No. Stupid movie, acting wasn't great, dumb plot.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Yes. Awesome.
Dance Flick: No. Why did I bother? Couldn't finish it, so lame.
Sunshine Cleaning: Yes. Good acting, good story.
The Hangover: Yes. Great movie. So funny.
I Love You, Man: Yes. Loved this movie! Saw it twice.
17 Again: No. Don't ask. Everyone said it was good-wasn't that great..
Confessions of a Shopoholic: No. Didn't like it so much.
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: Yes. Decent movie.
Funny People: No. Retarded! I was disappointed.
Observe and Report: Yes. Pretty funny from what I remember.
Year One: No. So dumb, we couldn't finish it.
Land of the Lost: Yes. Actually kind of liked the movie. Kept my attention.

There you have it. I've recently seen other movies as well, but those are the redbox films over the last 90 days. I'll add more to this list accordingly..

Couple's Retreat: Yes. Way funny, but not everyone's kind of humor.
Hannah Montana: Yes. ha ha... watched w/ my niece and enjoyed it!
Almost Famous: Nah. Lame.. (older movie)
Bride Wars: Yeah. Cute. Esp the 2nd time-- watched with French audio.
The Proposal: Yes. Love this movie, seen it a few times.

Family Photos
My friend Josh & his siblings/cousins

Engagements Part II

Engagements: Josh and Savannah

These two were fun to shoot-- they're getting married in March! Can't believe it. Though sadly with 500+ photos taken, I managed to ruin most of them-- way bothersome, since they would've been great photos (the joys of getting a new camera), but we're re-shooting in the next couple of days.